Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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