He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
