When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
