Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
