Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
