He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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