kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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