Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
