we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize