They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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