if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
