no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I am one with the molecules
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
