Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
