she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
