the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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