it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
