This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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