Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
