how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
