I have demons in me.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
