I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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