is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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