she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
They have beer where we have blood.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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