i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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