the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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