I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
