I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
