If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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