I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
