This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
