Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
