suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
