wanna go halves on a baby?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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