do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I have tasted many bathrooms
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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