my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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