We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
