Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
