sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the day after is always just damage control
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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