I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
did i just pee glitter
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
