now i know why i became what i already was.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
