when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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