why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My bed smells like the plague
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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