note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
