Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
two words: eviction party
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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