My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
