Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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