After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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