somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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