Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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