hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I need to sanitize my soul.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
